


Getting Some Existential Ass

by fem_castielnovak



Series: WORST HUNTING TEAM EVER [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean, Bottom Dean (implied), Dean in Panties, Frottage, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-26 02:14:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6219640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fem_castielnovak/pseuds/fem_castielnovak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on blowjobcas’s prompt: supernatural au where everything’s the same except it’s presented as a dark comedy with team free will being composed of soulless sam, dean smith, and endverse cas.<br/>---------------------<br/></p><p>Belated, sexy sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/4588110">An Ex-Angel, A Businessman, and A Soulless Humanoid Walk Into A Bar…</a></p><p>I wrote actual non-cracky smut and some light Dean headspace</p>
            </blockquote>





	Getting Some Existential Ass

**Author's Note:**

> because I don’t care if this is crack fic or not, Dean ~~Winchester~~ Smith is going to dream about Cas making passionate love to him

 

 

When Cas slams him up against the wall, Dean’s head bangs against it much more gently than he would have expected it to. Perhaps the lack of pain is due to the filter of alcohol. Or maybe he’s just a lot more focused on how fucking warm Cas’s mouth is against his.

They both break for a gulp of air and Cas takes the opportunity to target Dean’s neck.

“Cas,” Dean gasps, “ _Cas_.”  
_Christ,_ it’s hard to concentrate. Seriously, Cas’s lips are _scalding_.

“Mmmm,” Cas hums in response.

Dean muffles a small groan, “The door’s right there man,” Dean reaches his free hand out in a futile effort to snatch at the doorknob. As he strains towards it, his grip tightens in Cas’s hair which the man takes as a suggestion to use more teeth.

Dean hisses.  
“ _Bed_ , Cas,” he whines.

“Look who’s suddenly eager,” Cas purrs, before continuing his path upwards to nibble along the shell of Dean’s ear.

Dean rolls his hips forward in an effort to be more convincing, but it merely comes off as desperate. “I’ve always been –“ Cas cuts him off with a less than gentle bite. Dean takes the reprimand for what it is, “ _Fine_. I’ve never been eager, but I’ve always been interested.”

“ _Interested_?” Cas teases.

“Ugh, God, yes! What do you want me to say?” Horny Dean is not a patient man. “How I actually like the attention I get from your shitty flirting?” Dean’s fingers twist tighter into the soft fabric of Cas’s loose shirt, but they quickly release and slide downward. “How gratifying it is to finally get a handful of your ass?” He cups and then audaciously squeezes the muscle, moaning softly because _damn_ if that isn’t absolutely one of the most satisfying sensations.

Cas’s hips jerk forward and he sounds overtly pleased, “That’s a start.”

“No, it’d be a start if we got inside the room.”

And, wait. When did he get sober enough to fully comprehend what Cas is saying – much less formulate well-thought responses?

Cas noses at the corner of his jaw, "Why'd you keep putting me off if you like me so much?"

Dean squirms partially out of discomfort, mostly to get more body contact with Cas. "Getting involved with you is weird. And intimidating."

"And hot."

"And hot," Dean concedes. "Also you seem like you'd be really, really kinky and that worries me a little."

Cas draws back to pull a skeptical expression, "Don't even try to pretend that you aren't every bit as kinky as me."

Dean blushes, "F-fine. I'm betting our kinks don't overlap though. And _that's_ -"

"Oh really? Because those frilly pink boy shorts you had on the other day were really doing it for me." Dean's eyes go wide. Cas reaches down between their bodies to unzip his pants for him, "Almost as much as the lacy green panties you've got on now." He slips his hand into Dean's slacks and cups the front of said panties where Dean is hard and straining the material. "Mmm, I bet the look so nice.” He traces the length, rubbing up and down slowly. “They match your eyes, don't they?" He squeezes a little, "I know the blue cock ring and dildo set you've got match mine."

" _Cas_ ," Dean whines, face flushing darkly.

Cas presses down once more then withdraws his hand and reaches for the door to the room. Dean eagerly pushes him across the threshold, clinging to his sleeve to keep close. Cas kicks the door shut and drives Dean up against the wall once more. Dean slings his arms over Cas’s shoulders and takes his turn going after Cas’s neck. The stubble burns sweetly against Dean’s fairly smooth skin.

The rasping of it seems to catch Castiel’s attention. “Why’d you only ask women tonight?”

“Ugh, you ask a godawful lot of questions.” Dean buries his face at the top of Cas’s shoulder.

“I know you bat for both teams,” Cas mutters coercively.

Dean nuzzles into him and Cas can see the heat of shame coloring the back of his neck. “’S not like I try to hide it,” he mumbles. “Just easier to get back on the saddle with a girl than a guy.” He shrugs his shoulders, “‘Sides, I knew going after a guy would make you more jealous, and that wasn’t anything I wanted to deal with. Ya get real bitchy when yer jealous.”  
There, he’s back to slurring.

Cas chuckles, “Well now that’s a strange thing to hear. I know I find your reactions absolutely _adorable_ when I flirt with other people.”

“You just like doing that for attention. When I do it you either pout or get too invested. You’ve got a double standard about it.”

“Mmmm, you should take it as a compliment.” Cas’s roaming hands dig into Dean’s skin as he squeezes him closer.  

“Possessive bastard,” Dean gasps, tilting his head back as Cas ruts into him.

“Indeed,” Cas growls.

“Show me,” he pants. “Mark me up.”  
And damn, Dean did not know he was feeling brave enough to outright ask Cas for a hickey.

There’s barely a moment’s pause between Dean’s request and Cas latching onto his pulse point. He gives a hard suck that has Dean’s eyes widening. He locks onto the bed and tugs furtively at Cas’s clothes, “Cas- the bed.”

Cas’s mouth slips downward to make another mark. Dean shudders when his teeth tug at the skin. Dean cups the back of his head, holding him close. Cas’s teeth drag across his neck to another spot as he starts walking them both back towards the bed. Dean drives his hips forward to keep their crotches in contact and with a grunt, Cas sinks his teeth in again. Dean gasps – he registers the back of his legs hitting the edge of the bed and suddenly Cas is drawing back. With a feral grin, Cas gives him a push.  
Dean’s rolling and twisting to get a better angle and –

 

**_THUD_ **

 

Dean finds himself painfully alert and on his back, tailbone crushed against the laminate flooring. His teeth are gritted against the shooting pain of the contact and the persistent ache in his pelvis. He squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a wounded groan.

The background noise of rustling sheets comes to a halt with the crescendo of another thud about four feet away from Dean. He turns, finding the edge of a mattress immediately to his right, but through the space under the bed he can see Cas crouched on all fours like a cat where it seems he’s also fallen out of bed. Even so compromised, Cas looks cool as a cucumber, as if he were in the middle of a yoga pose, instead of halfway to hungover and freshly jolted from peaceful slumber.  
Dean blinks slowly, holding onto the awareness that they must have been sharing the bed for both of them to have fallen out of it – which is all he seems to be capable of understanding at the moment.

Dean looks back across the room to Cas. His eyes are scanning Dean, but he smirks midway through his perusal.

“Need a hand with that?”

Dean looks down at where his pants are open and his cock is sitting painfully heavy on his stomach. “ _Shit,_ ” he mutters, reaching to cover himself and jumping up. Or attempting to; as soon as he’s upright, whatever small amount of blood that was still in his head drains away and he has to grip the side of the bed. He manages to wobble to his feet and crosses the room, desperate for cool tile or water, and some privacy.

“Having a good dream, were we?” Cas calls after him. Dean slams the bathroom door.

 _A dream_. That confirms his suspicions, then. He knows they were making out on the way back to the motel. Hell, they must’ve been on the brink of down and dirty if Dean had gotten halfway undressed. But from what Dean could tell a moment ago, real-life Cas hadn’t even had his shirt off. They’d probably both been focused on getting Dean naked and then passed out before they could really get anywhere.

Dean braces himself against the sink and focuses on his reflection in the mirror above it. _Besides_ , he thinks to himself, the panties he’s wearing tonight are silky black. Not green or pink like the dream.  
The lack of any sort of markings on his neck further supports the argument.

He turns on the faucet and cups a handful of cold water. He scrubs it over his face a couple of times, cringing when it heightens the sharpness running up his spine. His head throbs and his cock offers an imitation. He glares down at where it stands tall, not having waned a bit since he awoke.  
Ah, well. The least he can do is self-medicate – release those endorphins.

He pushes his pants halfway down his thighs and he flexes his fingers to warm them up a bit. With a glance to the door that hides him, he wraps a hand around himself. He has to bite his lip to stifle a groan, surprisingly more turned on by the thought that if he’s too loud, Cas is going to hear him.

He shifts and his panties dig into the backs of his thighs. Dean doesn’t mind the stimulation – just wishes it were _more_. It gets him thinking about that cock ring and dildo set, what _real_ -Cas might do with them if he ever found them, and God help him, he wonders about how that dream might’ve ended.

He can picture his fall ending not on the floor, but on the ancient motel mattress. Before he could even settle from the landing, Cas would be crawling up over him, hovering with a hungry look in his eye.

Dean’s had some pretty enjoyable, kinky sex in his day, but this simplest dom-y shit gets to him so easily. The marking and the getting pushed up against walls is only the start of it. He loves the thought of Cas restraining his wrists above his head with a hand, or simply ordering Dean to keep them there. He wonders if Cas would make him hold off his climax for as long as he could. Dean can imagine the jokes about denial which Cas would make as he kept Dean from release, but he can also feel a phantom pressure tugging at him, telling him that without a stern voice to reprimand him it’s okay to reach for the finish. Dean grunts and slows his strokes. He was too close when he woke up to be able to last very long, but damn if he isn’t going to try.  
Or maybe Cas would test and see just how many times he could make Dean come – playing with Dean and teasing him well after his own orgasm had come and gone. Dean’s sure that Cas would take his time with his attention to Dean’s dick the more strained and close Dean became. He can almost feel how lazily and coyly Cas would push into him with his fingers. Dean wishes he had the patience or tools to open himself up and get something, anything inside of himself right now.  
And there it is; the grand prize image he’s been building towards. Not a lot of things compare to the idea of Cas’s dick buried deep inside of him, his pelvis cradling Dean’s ass and their chests pressed close together, with barely any space to breathe their own air.

And tonight Dean knows exactly how Cas would taste because they’ve both been drinking the same things all night. The nuances of their making out may be lost to him but he remembers the important parts like the easy slide of tongues and lips against one another, and the warmth from Cas pressed against him. Dean’s betting he smells rich and earthy still, even after sleeping in Dean’s sheets for half the night. Dean had gotten whiffs of it in the gasps between open-mouthed fumblings on their walk here.

Dean releases his grip on himself just long enough to pull the black silk up around his length once more. The air is sucked out of him so he isn’t even concerned about obscene noises he makes at the new slickness. Whatever it is about the feeling is what he was looking for and the end is now in sight.  
He has to lean against the sink and the fingers of his free hand dig painfully into the cheap, stained ceramic.

Maybe Cas would eat him out- oh _God_ , the things he would give to have that tongue inside him in any capacity. Dean stifles a whine in his own shoulder – which does him next to no good. Shit, Cas _definitely_ heard that. And it’s that thought combined with a tightening of his grip which pushes him over the edge.

Slowly Dean recovers, panting hard and struggling to focus on his own reflection in the mirror before him. After a moment he cleans up his mess, pulls off the soiled panties, and zips himself up.  
He looks to the door, mildly dreading the idea that he has to cross its threshold and then spend the night sleeping in a bed opposite one where sleeps a man he just used to fuel a jerk off session. Dean grits his teeth and ticks off another reason to hate his subconscious.  
Stupid dreams.  
Stupid sexual _and_ romantic attraction.  
Stupid near-indiscernibility between dream-Cas’s willingness and real-Cas’s aloof, flirtatious nature.  
Because as Dean well knows, dream-Cas is not real-Cas. Dream-Cas happens to be an idealized figment of Dean’s imagination, while real-Cas is far more unpredictable than Dean is prepared to put up with.

Tired as he is, Dean prays emptily for Cas to already be asleep, even as he musters his resolve. He makes eye contact with himself in the mirror and sighs. Every time this happens, he’s a little more fucked.  
And yet, he’s never any closer to actually getting laid.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I’m achieving sitcom levels of UST. We’ll get there people, but first I’m milking this tension for all I can.
> 
> Also, another addition is on the way soon involving Meg I'm very excited for what that is going to entail.
> 
> Exits are to your left, your right, and your rear, restrooms are to the front, Kudos and comments are found below, and as always, very appreciated. Thank you for flying Air fem-castielnovak.


End file.
